about my blah

what is this blog blah about ?

nothing & everything.  Its blah for my sisters, friends, and family. Most of them live in a land far, far away and this blog takes care of writing and/or updating everyone all at once. Plus, it’s like a stage for my monologues.

Who are you?

     =         

 1st, I love Jesus and I’m a bible believing Christian…I hate to cook but LOVE to clean…I have a deep fear of commitments & I love Costco chocolate cake. These days saying I love Jesus doesn’t seem to faze anyone–but when I mention I’m a Republican— it’s on baby!  Strangely enough, I met, fell in love with, and actually married a loud & proud democrat —and he loves to debate me until he’s red in the face.   Lucky for me I have a will of iron, steel and other precious metals.  Also, my nickname is Dorie &  I’m 99.9% forgetful since the day I was born, which is probably why I’m still married to a democrat.

About the democrat

  He’s this guy I met when I was really young & immature. No… not yesterday… very funny! He’s one of those smart, logical, calm and rational type of people—which makes this photo really funny because it’s capturing a moment people rarely get to see.  Hawaii brings out the best in people, you should go.  He’s a strong man…a man of few words…the kind of guy that says what he means, and means what he says– period. He works really hard & lets me stay home— and even believes me when I tell him I do more than he does. There is only one way I can think of to express how much I love him, and that is—  Dorie + Democrat = love  

kids:

1. I have 5 kids.  3 by birth, one by marriage & one by temporary compromise.

 

Peter Pan is 23, & married to Tinkerbell, 23.  He fell in love with Tink when they were mere babes. 17, to be exact. But like other young loves, they broke up before he left for boot camp. Later, while Peter Pan was living in Florida he got his marching orders for Japan. He was allowed 11 days military leave before leaving the country so he came home to see ME, because I used to be his favorite.  Five days before he was set to leave (sniff)  he says,  ”I wonder how Tink is doing? I think I’ll go visit her and maybe see if she wants to go to a movie.”  So he did.  The next morning over coffee  he said, “Tink and I think we’re still in love and we are going to get back together!”

Immediately I thought: “How sad!!! Should I tell him it won’t work? How could it? She’s here and he’s moving to Japan!! It’s probably not a good idea and I don’t really think it will work, but who am I to say anything?  They’re practically adults, afterall….Poor kids, this will never work. Long distance relationships are tough. They are still so naive! Oh well, I won’t spoil it for them, I’ll just let them figure it out in the coming weeks, or months.  hmmmm…I wonder what movie they went to see that tricked them into thinking they were still in love after all this time, and maybe  I should take Alex to see it because he hasn’t bought me flowers in a long time…”

As I was deep in thought,  Peter Pan said something like, ”do you want to come to the court house tomorrow because we’re going to get married so that she’ll be able to come with me to Japan.”  …Or something like that. It’s still a blur in my mind  because I nearly passed out from lack of oxygen.  It was like a dream and a nightmare all mixed up together.  Not that I didn’t like Tinkerbell, I actually loved Tinkerbell for years  (sometimes even more than I loved Peter Pan!)  Still, I knew they were insane.  I laughed! Oh!!! It’s going to take a few more hours before they come to their senses and laugh at this silly marriage thought.  I was wrong.  

The next day we had a wedding.   I prayed for their marriage, but  more importantly, I prayed that the Democrat would not kill Peter Pan before he had a chance to leave the country because smoke was coming out of the Democrat’s ears.  Then… I threw the coolest wedding party ever.

…And then they were gone… yah, it happened that fast.  Its nearly been 2 years but it seems like only yesterday. Peter Pan and poor little Tinkerbell have been learning to be married as well as growing up together…all alone…in Japan. (sniff, sniff)

Lets move on to Princess Tigerlily so that I don’t cry.

She’s 18 and a totally smart college student.  She did not want to go to our local college, but she loved me and wanted my heart to remain intact.  Peter Pan’s departure nearly did me in so she decided to be the one who would fall on the sword.  And she lives at home (!!!!!)  She loves me more than Peter Pan, clearly.  The compromise was that I would let her BFF live here too.  What she failed to recognize was that this was no compromise because Sophie

 has been been hanging around my house since she was 8— which means it doesnt seem any different from normal. Well, except that Sophie only wears things once before putting them in the dirty laundry. I hate that —but haven’t said anything to her yet because she cooks for me sometimes. Life is pretty fantastic with 2 college girls that cook, clean, and run errands. 

Lastly, there’s my sweet little Wendy Bird.

 

10th grade.  5’10.  and currently, a whole lotta attitude.  She is a beautiful girl but if  anyone mentions anything about her beauty, she makes this scary face like she’s going to kill.  I try not to say anything about her looks and mostly stay out of her way when she’s mad upset, angry, awake.     She looks like she’s 18 &  I am BLESSED BEYOND MEASURE that she thinks boys are uselss.  (yay!) 

She is also the ultimate grammar nazi.   I drive her nuts because my sentences are long and/or choppy and basically completely incorrect because I type like I talk.  I love the word SO and so I use it a lot, and if it were up to me, there would be NO periods at the end of a sentence…only 3 dots… so that we would know when to pause and take a breath…

… Needless to say, and by the way, she HATES when anyone uses the phrase “needless to say” because she says, if it’s “needless to say”, then don’t say it!!! …. 

fyi, I used a fabulous grammar curriculum with that girl.  Is that irony? or is it irony that I did not pay attention?  

Okay, she’s not that bad, even though she is a grammar nazi.  She has a sugary-sweet side too—but only  when it comes to animals.  What else?…. Oh! She’s the best baker in the land, although she’d never admit it.  She likes to say that she HATES baking. It’s a lie. Don’t believe her. She makes the most wonderful snack platters w/cute fancy toothpicks or umberellas and brings them to my office all the time.  

She’s also a dog trainer extraordinaire.  On top of all of that, she is the easiest student (in the history of  homeschooling) to homeschool because she does ALL HER WORK without complaining.  She wants to be ahead of everyone so she’s all about straight A’s!

did I mention she still hates boys? Glory hallelujah!!!  

I hope she’s not really a robot, or a figment of my imagination. 

How do you spend your days?

I homeschool, take photographs, play on photoshop, write poetry, design patterns, eat chocolate cake, sew stuff, paint walls, paint canvases, reupholster furniture, build furniture, help my friends decorate, thrift shop, teach bible studies, keep books, file taxes, fix computers and break and fix electronics, and cars, research & write, clean and organize, book online travel for anyone, twirl and sing.  Oh, & I quit stuff all the time.  I recycle everything and make new stuff out of trash ALL THE TIME. Sometimes I actually get paid to do these jobs, but mostly I do it for free because I’m a loser and I hate to charge people.  

How do you support yourself?  The Democrat once told me that I could stay home with the kids if I wanted to. I simply recorded that statement and play every single time he says, ” I think it’s time you got a job.”  I’m still hiding behind my sham of homeschooling Wendy Bird. Everyone knows she is the one actually doing the hard work. All I have to do is pick out curriculum, make a schedule, grade her work & keep good records. She could probably do that if I let her.  I think once she graduates I will  be forced to get a job…or I’ll trap the democrat by getting pregnant.